


The Product of Demon!Dean and 3 weeks hiatus.

by Bagelpocolypse



Category: Supernatural
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-06-07
Updated: 2014-06-07
Packaged: 2018-02-03 18:36:01
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 2,202
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1754269
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bagelpocolypse/pseuds/Bagelpocolypse
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's the bagelpocalypse. There is no escape.<br/>This may or may not be a collection of bagel stories. You have been warned.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Onr dayt Demon!Bagel dean was stfrolling around doing bagely things in teh bagel bunker when he herd a noise coming from his toaster. it soudned very gohst bagely.

"gosh dang it kevin freaking bagel why dose yore gohst stuff haf too be so loud." kevin bagle gohst appered in front of bagek dean rolling hjis metaforical bagel eys in anoyence.

"well I woodnt haf too if gareelbagel wouldn't haf burnet my eyes out" he complained

gadreel bagel sudenly showed up behid sam bagel who was sitting at that pool table thing.

"u r sew anoying kev kev let it go"

kevin and gadreel bagles began argewing and vagel cas leaned over to deen bagul and wispered "i just had a good time in the micrawave. mh butter is all nice n meltid. wink wink" he playfully pooked bagldeans hole.

deanbag giglrd like a smal girl and luked @ begil cas seductivly until a loud womans voice begn cheerin behind em.

"woo?!. u go my bagl sun!" mary begel holered to her sun deen baygel.

"mum." dean angril y yelled "u r embarrassing me go away."

"o i get it." may respondd "u want 2 share ur cream cheeze"

"stop it." sam said from the pool table thing.

"yes" sed gabril trickster bagle. Suddenly apearing in sams lap. "it is gross mrisses. wheatchester. i♥u very much but that is nut okay"

grabiel hugged sammoosebagel n began singin my heart will goo on softly 2 him

balthazar bgil walked in n he looked rly mad. he wagled a finger @ gabe. "do u want me 2 smite maself? because I will gabe I wll." he lookedat mary bagel "dose he?" "idk" mary answered

from the other side of the room, gadreel said "hedooooo" and bagel kevin slapped him, sayin "well I wouldn't no because i am dead." "I am too silly" bagel kevin slap him again.

all of a suden, charlie bagelbury showed up n started laughin atthe site before her eyes.

"you guys are all very sily" she shook herhead. "do u want to go do bagel things with me casteel since we are both bagels" "I sure would" cas replied cherily.

"okay" charlie sed "what bagel things will we do!" she asked "we can do rly cool things like turn the oven up high." castil answered

so they did that thinh and then they heard a bagel scream come from the oven.

"i am still in here u poop heads" adam bagel yelled from the oven "did u forget me AGEN,"

"no we did not" said sam, u r just luser" he finished. bagelifer, also in the oven yelled "well he is not wrong. u r just luser"

adam bagel began cryin so begelifer falt bad n gave him a hug. "I ♥ u even if u r luser" he patted his back.

and then a wild crowley scobagel apeard! twerking on the wall. his husband bobby bagel stood 2 feat away shaking his head "hallo boys" crowley said to the rhythm of his twerkun.

"what is wrong w/ him" balthizer asked.

"he is such a scobagel sometimes" bobby answered crowrey got up walked ofer to bobby n kossed him on the cheek "but a scobagel u luv" he smiled "yes" bobby sad

up in heaven baygull god smiled down at his bagle children. "I love yall" he said " but sometimes I regret suma you." he narrowed his eyes at gadreel who was frowning loudly at kevin bagel. "u were an accidint"


	2. bagel 2

onc upon a tim, scobagel crowley was poppin and lockin it throughthe store as he listined to "get urhead in the bagel" fram bagel school musical.

he strolled thru the store whilst doing all of his sick moves when an old crumpet came over to hm n said "u r the swaggiest danser I have ever sen. wud u ples drop some sick beats n show me ur radical skills" crowley started head bobbin and said in hjis thic skottish accent "lol k"

so him an that old crumpet jamed out and the crupet was gud but crowrey was beter bc he could twerk and she could not.

and then his cellular phone rang?so crowl picked it up n a voice on teh linie sed "crow crow r u poopin an lokin agen" it was sherif bagel mills

"be quet sherif remember tht time I almost killed u" he respond "haha yes that was v funy but I olso remembr that u were sposed to get th crem chesa baghell king." she roled her eyes loudly. "oopsie poopsie" crowley said. he had remembr but hip hop was ver funner.

"u r a disgrace 2 bagels" bagel mills said "and ur a little female dog." crowley retorted "(i donot cuss)" he added in brackits.

then hiz bagl phone begn buzzin buzzbuzzbuzz and balthazer walked up 2 him. "udo 2 cuss" he laugh "stop bein a little poop head an get teh crmea chesae." he walked up to the cumpt who was droppin it low nd pushed her over. "move" he said.

he led crowley over 2 that stuff he was sposed to get n shkwed him "here is the rceam cehse u fart stick do nut get the nasty kind." "I wil nut get the nasty kimd" the scobagel assurd him.

"gud"

and then all uf a suden! crowleys bagel mp3 he got from his mother begin playen "my heart wil go on" by bagline dion.

balthy flipped his turds. "hey u stop that" he say to the mp2. it did not stop that.

balthezr was rly rly mad so he grabbed a stalk of celerie from the shelf.

how cud crow betrah him lyk that? he lpve crowle but this was 4 teh beter. he rose the celeri up hi over his frind

"I am sry" h3 sead "but mh heart will go in" and as th butter stramed down his fice, he stabed scobagel crowly but it is okie dokie he did not die bc he is a bagel and bagel is god.

THE END


	3. thei soggy bagel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Metacriossant is reigning terror on the bagel civilization

nowthis isa stor all bouthow  
a croissant we h8ed got put down  
he tried 2 b a bagel he was a jerk  
n h made da other bagels go bezerk

metacroissant was a croissant. croissants n bahels got along but that is bc they donot associated.

metacroissant tho thought he wasbeter than all the bagels n wNted 2 rule them. he trie to become bagel but teh toaster mage hm crunble!the buter make him sogy n h did not use de right kinda ecram hcese.

he was walkin down teh strt 1 day and dean bagl try t reasonw/ him but he just like "lel no" and bloo den away but he is al right nou

that make tehother bagers vvvvry anger and the realise they ned 2 kill metCroissant but how?

they sat thinkkn bout it 4 a while and balthazar bagel said "i no? i can call down pep pep (pep pep is god) " he was hap y he thot of sumthin.

so they bagels caled down thr bagel lord.

"lol whT" he sed "u need to kill betacrroissant" said charlie bagelbury "okie dokie" replyed god.

so they stalkd metacroissant 4 a while n when dey found out wher he was they went to his toaster n waited for hm.

whn he 1st walked in he was laugh then he sees fod n screm like a liktle girl.

"why tf were u laugh we r better than u" said garth bagel in an angry ton "no u r nkt" said metarossant

"garthbagel is rite u r totaly not a swagmaster like we are n we all hate u." said charlie

"i am fab" said garth.

metacroissant shook his head n look @god "y r u here" he asked

"bc i h8 ur face more den donuts (an that's a lot)" he said.

just s metzcroissant was bout to answer, the door burted oped and crowley scrobagel twerked in. "u r bammkn slammin boktylicious crow, ey" said bobby bagek from the corner.

crowleu twerkd around th room and when he past metacroissant he sad "ur a soggy bagel" he put air quots arounf the word Bgel.

when he reached his bagel peers he sed "jk u r not bage" metacroissant looked hirt as croley high five the bagel. he look at gadreel bagel

"u 2 gadreel! I thought we wer pals" he sulked

"no u r basic n u don't got the booty" gadreel sassed.

balthezr looked at god n said "pep pep may I ples sac him b4 you kill him" "yes" sead god.

so bathazar sacked metCroissant n god kiled him then crowly pulled out his mp2 playe and put on the booty song n they had a bagel party.

THE END


	4. odd socks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> balthizer finds and interesting pair of socks

balthazar bagel was kilin it as always an thinkin of ways tk rid the earth of my heart will go on when a pear of socks fell on his head.

"what teh heckie" he said grabbin the socks n when he looked at em he gasped luodly. tey were teh most butifull things he had ever seen.

they were white socks with mini twerkin crowley bagls on em. balthy squeale in delight. somehow they were moving.

he immediately took off his old crusty charlie bagelbury socks and put on the twerkenh crowly ones.

he stood up n went outside and walked teh black wit his twerking crowley moving sacks.

many people complimented balthy on his socs as he walked past them.

"I know"he sed to allof them "hey are swagier tan u lol u suck l8r h8r." and walked away in his fabolous socks. "tey are swagier thn me because those r pretty kewl sawcs."

he wore teh socks four 18 weeks straight without taking them off. the longer he wore tem, th fastr the clowrys got. won day he inveyetid charlie bagelbury over to break the news that he had taken her socks off.   
"what th frickle frackle do u mean u took mh soks off," she punshed him "u r the rudist bagel I hav evr met."

"yeh but sharlie thy move" he showed her the socks

"hkw the heckie are they moving you anal pirate!" she starred at teh buetifuk sox. "I donot have any ideea" balthisar started crying.

as charlid rased her fist too punch agen. a voice staped her.

"staho" it sayed "it waz mw who made teh socks move. k am magic"

"u r not magic" said charlie. "u r lame"

"i jesus you lazy donut" balthazar gasped largely "o no u did-nt" he said "oh yes I di-id" replid jesus.

then bagel god showed up.

"jsesuis waht ru doin out of heven"

jsues was pamick "d-daddy the r bein bulkies" he kwickly lyed "u r liar" respondid god

jesis therw a tantrim "NOKOOOOOO DADDY U R A LKAR I H8 U WAY 2 MUCH FALL IN2 A PKT OF PUKE" he yealled

"get tf bak 2 heavon u turd" god said and kicked him kn teh tush tush. he flew bac 2 hevin.

"tank u sew much pep pep" said balthazar

god stared @ his son.

"ur lame" he said.

THE END


	5. donuts r nonuts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The bagels and donuts have been fighting a brutal war for a very long time. This is not the end of that battle. It is just the beginning.

Charlie Bagelbury was hanging by her bagikl compewter reading bagel romione fanfic when in teh commints some1 asked her "do u hav a tumbler" charly did nut no wat a tumbr wAS so she look it up and went on it.

it was a website filed w/ a whole bunch of pastry people posting pics of thigs like docter bagel and muffindoch mysteries? she wa scrollin thru he site when she noticed somethin at the top of th page. it looked lik bagel. she scroll over it. when she scrooled, it say :happy doonut day celebrat wit dunot" 

that made charlee v angry. she stukc out her tonge & made fartin noises at teh donut. "o y u do that lumblr bagel r so swagier" "no tey r not" respond tumblr. cherie cry.

she did noot lik tea donut no more. she will killem. she call mare bagel in destriss.

"maey" she cry "tha int4rnet say bagels r nt cool? they say donuts r cooler." "waHT" mry crinckled her nose "fookin donuts they are totally nards" she put her hand on charles donut shouldr. "dunt worry we r cooler n we no it" she said

then for some stupeed raison a little turd donut was ther.

"lol bagels suck doNUT doNUT deNUJT!" the donut chasnt. mary bagel got really mad @ her so she stabbed her with a fork. her vanill creme filling poured out and she scremed in pain "DYE U BUTTERFACED RECTUM BISCIT" she yelled. the donut die

kevin bagel show up and asked whyb there was a ded donut on th floor

kharlie told her the story of what happened.

when she was done. kevin put his angry bagel face on. "we will 4ever wreak havock on the doonits for being turdy fart faces until tey are wiped off of the baked good earth" he told his bagel counterparts.

the dying donut looked up at them and sad it's last words. "bagels r gay"

kevin bagel looked at bagel dean and bagstiel across the stret. "Yes." he said.


End file.
